When did I turn around
and give my fears the right
to rule my existence?
I've always been scared...
I was BORN that way
it's something I do
as naturally as breathing
but I have spent a lifetime
trying to overcome it
Dogs, spiders, escalators...
black swans, thunder, falling...
the list goes on
and on and on...
I have been terrified of all of them
and more...
Each one has attacked at various times
and I have fought back
locking it down into a box
Pandora's Box...
they have been largely overcome
But not entirely
and now it seems that they have decided
to gang up on me...
and I am so tired
There is only one place that is truly safe
but I cannot stay in my room forever...
I wish to God I could.
Sh*t Happensit's part of life
can't avoid it
only choice
is to step over it carefully...
go straight through
and pretend it isn't there...
or stop dead at the brink
and never cross the mess...or of course
turn backnever face the sh*t...
never know the truth...
never see what waits on the other side...too much sh*t
and you're faced with
one final option
say byebye...
no more sh*t
ever...unless of course you wake up...
in which case
the sh*t has magically
and instantaneously multiplied
by a factor of ten...
because the world knows its there
and the world knows what you tried to do
and the world would like
to pretend it's not there too
but they don't want
you to do it again either...that would cause too much increase
in their own pile of sh*t...
Midnight at the Well of SoulIt's dark outside
and cold...
I would like to be warmed
by the fires of my love
I reach towards them
wanting...
but they elude me
hopes and dreams fade to shadows
and the emptiness fills my soul
Who was I to have dreamed of a future?
What right I, to expect the joy
of a life fulfilled?
I should have known...
happiness is not for me
I can want it
I can dream of it
but I do not deserve it
not with a heart filled with darkness
and a head with shadows...
I was a fool to think otherwise.
Love alone cannot hope
to fill the void -
night is eternal
and darkness reigns.